One LGBTQ family’s inspiring, heartfelt story of the many alternative paths that lead to a loving family, with lessons for every parent
Trystan and Biff had been dating for just a year when the couple learned that Biff’s niece and nephew were about to be removed from their home by Child Protective Services. Immediately, Trystan and Biff took in one-year-old Hailey and three-year-old Lucas, becoming caregivers overnight to two tiny survivors of abuse and neglect.
From this unexpected start, the young couple built a loving marriage and happy home—learning to parent on the job. They adopted Hailey and Lucas, tied the knot, and soon decided to try for a baby that Trystan, who is transgender, would carry. Trystan’s groundbreaking pregnancy attracted media fanfare, and the family welcomed baby Leo in 2017.
In this inspiring memoir, Trystan shares his unique story alongside universal lessons that will help all parents through the trials of raising children. How We Do Family is a refreshing new take on family life for the LGBTQ community and beyond. Through every tough moment and touching memory, Trystan shows that more important than getting things right is doing them with love.
About the Author
Trystan Reese is an established thought leader, educator, speaker, and the founder of Collaborate Consulting, which provides customized training in diversity, equity, and inclusion for individuals, organizations, and communities interested in social justice. A professionally trained anti-racism facilitator, he has been organizing within the trans community for nearly two decades. He is a 2021 Lambda Literary Fellow and has been featured in The Moth, People, and BuzzFeed. He is married to his partner Biff and they live in Portland, Oregon with their three kids: Lucas, Hailey, and Leo. They are very happy.
“This narrative of an extraordinary family describes what it’s like to be a trans father, a pregnant man, an adoptive father—what it’s like to invent and enact new relational structures. Trystan Reese writes with great tenderness and compassion, and also with a well-considered agenda of political and social activism. This rollicking book will release love that might otherwise have remained buried; it limns the exact quality of joy that can inhere in inventing not only yourself, but also the world you live in.”—Andrew Solomon, National Book Award–winning author of The Noonday Demon and Far from the Tree
“You can’t meet Trystan and not like him. The same goes for this book. First of all, he spelled everything right. Those correctly spelled words make a great read about Trystan and his pregnancy. Yes. His. See I told you this book was going to be good. You’re gonna learn stuff but you’ll like it.”—Willam