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What Happens When Women See What Men See?
You already know that your husband, boyfriend, or son is wired differently from you, but do you know what that really means? It means, among other things, that he’s been given the gift of a unique visual wiring—and the challenges that come with it.
In Through a Man’s Eyes, Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Gross team up to help open our eyes to something we are often blind to. They address questions like:
· “Why are guys so visual—and what does that mean, anyway?”
· “How do I help my son navigate this sex-crazed culture?”
· “How dare someone tell a woman to watch what she wears! Isn’t it a man’s responsibility not to look?”
· “If he’s tempted by visual images, is there something wrong with him? With me?”
· “My husband is an honorable guy, so why would he be tempted by porn?”
· “How can I talk to my husband or son about this? What can I do to support him?”
Through the compassion and candor in this book, we can learn what men have long wished we knew (but didn’t know how to explain)—and see the difference it makes when we do!
About the Author
Shaunti Feldhahn is a social researcher, popular speaker, and the best-selling author of such books as For Women Only, which have sold more than two million copies in twenty-three languages. Her groundbreaking relationship findings are featured in media around the world. Shaunti and her husband and two kids are based out of Atlanta.
Craig Gross is a pastor and the founder of XXXchurch.com, which is the most recognized voice on the planet on the issues of pornography and sex. Craig is the author of eleven books and has been featured in GQ, Newsweek, Wired, the New York Times, and on Good Morning America, Nightline, CNN, Fox News, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He lives in Pasadena, California, with his wife, Jeanette, and their two children.
Praise for Through a Man’s Eyes
“I’ve spoken at hundreds of events for women on the topic of marriage, and I can honestly not think of a more needed book. Is it possible (please!) that we can finally have an honest conversation in the church about the visual nature of men without guys being called creeps and women being called frigid? My deepest prayer is that couples will read this book and be able to talk without judgment about this reality for men in our modern society and for their marriages. For many couples, this will be the most important book they read this year—and maybe in their entire relationship.”
—Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, Happy Habits for Couples, and Hot Mamas
“Women, be brave. This is all the stuff your man has been trying to tell you about how he’s wired, but didn’t know how to say. This is the stuff every mom of a boy needs to know. Whether you have an issue you need to address, are curious about how to support a man or guide a son, or simply need reassurance that the male wiring was intended to be a good thing, this resource will help. This eye-opening book is the go-to resource for a whole new generation of women who care about men.”
—Shannon Ethridge, MA, relationship coach, speaker, and author of many books including the best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series, The Sexually Confident Wife, and The Passion Principles
“The visual nature of men is an unchangeable reality of life, love, and marriage. And it is an issue few women understand. That lack of knowledge creates a lot of relational problems and barriers to experiencing intimacy. Finally, here is a book that will empower women with the truth about how God made men and how to relate to them with understanding. I love this book and am so thankful to Craig and Shaunti for writing it.”
—Jimmy and Karen Evans, co-hosts of the syndicated the syndicated television program MarriageToday with Jimmy and Karen
“Finally a book to help women understand what even the most honorable man or boy faces today! Many wives personalize a man’s visual nature as evidence that her good-willed husband does not love her. Of course, all he can say is, ‘Well, I do love you’ as he battles to avoid the swimming areas, Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, or stay accountable with his Internet viewing. And when men have given in to those temptations, and don’t understand the pain they inflict on their wives, their wives don’t know how to handle it. In Through a Man’s Eyes, every wife, mom, counselor, and pastor has the resource we’ve been waiting for.”
—Emerson Eggerichs, bestselling author of Love and Respect
“This is a home-run title on such a desperately needed topic! Through a Man’s Eyes opened my eyes to so many things that men struggle with and served as the springboard for some very helpful and healthy conversations with my husband. I appreciate the courage Shaunti and Craig had to address this subject and the grace with which they did so. Highly recommended for any woman who wants to understand her husband, son, boyfriend, or other men in her life better.”
—Crystal Paine, founder of MoneySavingMom.com and New York Times best-selling author
“Oh how I wish I’d had this resource thirty-two years ago when I was a new wife. Even though I’ve been married for many years, I learned so much on the pages of this book. If you have a man in your life, you need this resource! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for giving women the gift of understanding.”
—Jill Savage, CEO of Hearts at Home and author of No More Perfect Moms
“Reading this book made me think Craig and Shaunti had somehow installed a hidden camera in my brain! Their insights into the male thought process are incredibly accurate. This book will help women develop a deeper understanding of men, and consequently will create deeper levels of intimacy in their relationships.”
—Dave Willis, founder of StrongerMarriages.org and author of iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage
“Through a Man’s Eyes picks up where For Women Only left off in giving me (Barb) insight into understanding the visual nature of men. For years we’ve told couples around the world to make sure they bought a copy of the book. This new book is excellent! So compelling we couldn’t put it down! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for writing more on these crucial differences between men and women! It gives couples everywhere the capacity to talk about them.”
—Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, America’s Family Coaches
“Any woman (or man!) who reads this book will have a much better understanding of the visual nature of men and boys. As I read this book, words like refreshing, challenging, insightful, grace, practical and helpful kept popping into my head. Shaunti and Craig are two of my favorite authors, researchers, and friends, and I respect and admire both of them. Putting these two people together to write this book makes it not only a stroke of genius but a resource that will bring health and understanding to thousands of women who needed to comprehend how men think and react to visual stimulation. The answers to the questions about the effect of pornography on men and boys could save many a relationship.”
—Jim Burns, PhD, president of HomeWord and author of Teaching Your Kids Healthy Sexuality and The Purity Code (for teens and preteens)
“Men have long needed their hidden sexual ‘wiring’ exposed along with the challenges it brings. And women have long needed this enlightenment and the compassion for their men that surely comes with it. Clearly, a must read!”
—Dr. Robert Lewis, founder of Men’s Fraternity and producer of Marriage Oneness
“This is a book that all husbands should want their wives to read. Through a Man’s Eyes takes women on a journey into the minds of men, and shows them how even nice guys struggle with the onslaught of visual temptation they face every day. Thankfully, it also shows women how to be compassionate, wise, and encouraging in dealing with this aspect of their husband’s life.”
—Mark and Susan Merrill, Founders of Family First, All Pro Dad, and iMOM